Tag Archives: Lord of the Rings

‘The Hobbit’ Confirmed As Trilogy. Also, Every Story Now Legally Required To Be Adapted Into Three Films.



A couple of years ago, some of you may remember that in a startlingly logical move, a studio decided to adapt and release The Lord Of The Rings as a trilogy of films, each as its own movie telling the story originally told in three parts in the novel. After those movies went on to make millions and millions of dollars at the box office, studios were looking to fast track the obvious follow-up to LOTR, which was Tolkien’s The Hobbit. The main difference between the two, being that The Hobbit was a significantly shorter, simpler, and far less densely written story, that was originally written as a children’s book.   And then it got shelved, re-planned, re-thought out, and finally years later picked back up again by Peter Jackson, who now, along with the money-grubbing studios that want another million dollar trilogy, is adapting The Hobbit into a movie of its own. Three of them, to be exact, as stated on Peter Jackson’s Facebook. Via [Chicago Tribune]

“We know how much of the story of Bilbo Baggins, the Wizard Gandalf, the Dwarves of Erebor, the rise of the Necromancer, and the Battle of Dol Guldur will remain untold if we do not take this chance,” Jackson wrote.

“So, without further ado and on behalf of New Line Cinema, Warner Bros. Pictures, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, Wingnut Films, and the entire cast and crew of ‘The Hobbit’ films, I’d like to announce that two films will become three.”

Now while I’m not directly against an adaptation of The Hobbit itself, because it’s an amazing story, It is decidedly NOT enough story to adapt into 2 movies, and streeeettching it into 3 is downright frivolous.  It’s a pretty straightforward story. Hobbit joins up with dwarves for adventure. They fight trolls and spiders. They try to steal a dragons treasure. Dragon gets mad. They war against the dragon. War ends. The END. It’s enough story to make  a really badass 3 hour movie, with each act reflecting each part of the book. But since making money is paramount over making concise, unbloated, well paced adaptations, we’re going to get 2 unnecessary sequels so as much money as possible can be dragged out of our wallets as we’re forced to pay $16 dollars three times over the course of three years (at least!) , to see it in special LieMax 48fps 3D Digitial Surround sound with bonus cups and collectible glasses! Don’t forget the final showing of the third movie in 2014! Where you can buy a $50 dollar ticket to see all three in one sitting for 12 straight hours, and afterward you can go home and hang yourself because you’ve finally seen Peter Jackson’s ONE TRUE VISION brought to the silver screen.

So yeah. Not a fan of this being split up I guess, is what I’m saying.

Toy Fair 2012: Lego, Hulk Hands, & HOVERBOARDS!

Toy Fair 2012 wraps up today in the city that never sleeps and from action figures to high-tech toys to creepy Barbies that take photos and then display them on their stomach there’s something for everyone.

Always staying relevant and taking it to the next level is LEGO who debuted a whole bunch of Lord of the Rings activity sets as well as sets for The Avengers and Deadpool.

LEGO’s ninja-themed playset NINJAGO Fire Temple was good enough to win Activity Toy of the Year award but makes me glad I don’t have kids yet when I see the $120 price tag. Yikes!

Perhaps one of the weirdest/coolest/most useless items available this year is the opportunity to pre-order an authentic replica Back to the Future hover board! It does disclaim actual hovering but does allow you to release your inner Marty McFly for what is still an undisclosed price until early March.

Continue reading Toy Fair 2012: Lego, Hulk Hands, & HOVERBOARDS!

Some Stills & Speculation on The Hobbit and Prometheus

Film Drunk dropped this still from Prometheus featuring Noomi Rapace gazing awestruck at something out of frame, which is interesting considering the most intriguing part of the photo is the pair of space jockeys behind her:

Here’s the photo again, lightened considerably to show the jockeys more clearly:

While the mysterious aliens and the tunnel surrounding them recapture H.R. Giger’s iconic style from the original Alien series, Rapace’s spacesuit looks wildly out of place in the gloomy environment. It could just be my obsessive love for Mass Effect talking, but I think the outfit’s looking very much like something Cerberus might design.

Update: Cinema Blend now reports that actress Kate Dickie supposedly spilled some mildly spoilerish plot details in a UK Tabloid, but as they mention, those types of magazines aren’t exactly the picture of accuracy. Keep that in mind while you read on, but remember there are potential spoilers:

Continue reading Some Stills & Speculation on The Hobbit and Prometheus

Trailer is Here for ‘The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey’

After hearing all of the worrying issues that caused Guillermo del Toro to leave the director’s chair in pursuit of other projects, and the long period of relative silence from production, it’s a relief to find some footage of Peter Jackson’s upcoming adaptation of The Hobbit today, in the form of a gorgeous trailer courtesy Collider.

Kind of nostalgic, isn’t it? It’s really nice to see that budget problems and creative changes don’t appear to have affected Peter Jackson’s interpretation of Middle Earth at all, and it’s a little embarrassing to admit how happy I am to be back in Bag End, and to see some old faces once again.

In addition to the trailer above, Collider also included a beautiful poster, along with the movie’s official synopsis:

“The Hobbit” follows the journey of title character Bilbo Baggins, who is swept into an epic quest to reclaim the lost Dwarf Kingdom of Erebor, which was long ago conquered by the dragon Smaug. Approached out of the blue by the wizard Gandalf the Grey, Bilbo finds himself joining a company of thirteen dwarves led by the legendary warrior, Thorin Oakensheild. Their journey will take them into the Wild; through treacherous lands swarming with Goblins and Orcs, deadly Wargs and Giant Spiders, Shapeshifters and Sorcerers.

Although their goal lies to the East and the wastelands of the Lonely Mountain first they must escape the goblin tunnels, where Bilbo meets the creature that will change his life forever … Gollum.

Here, alone with Gollum, on the shores of an underground lake, the unassuming Bilbo Baggins not only discovers depths of guile and courage that surprise even him, he also gains possession of Gollum’s “precious” ring that holds unexpected and useful qualities … A simple, gold ring that is tied to the fate of all Middle-earth in ways Bilbo cannot begin to know.

The trailer is vague, but if you’ve read the book you’ll know that things look as dedicated and faithful to the source material as all of the Lord of the Rings films before it. Of course, they’ve kept Smaug and the other creatures out of sight for the time being, which is a maddening tease, particularly after reading the massive feature on del Toro that was written in the New Yorker back in February. The interview, in addition to delving into the filmmaker’s fascinating story and older work, eventually went on to describe in detail some of the amazing designs del Toro has come up with for his fantastical creatures, including The Hobbit‘s iconic dragon:

“Smaug’s body, as del Toro had imagined it, was unusually long and thin. The bones of its wings were articulated on the dorsal side, giving the creature a slithery softness across its belly. “It’s a little bit more like a snake,” he said.

Smaug’s front legs looked disproportionately small, like those of a T. Rex. This would allow the dragon to assume a different aspect in closeup; the camera could capture ‘hand’ gestures and facial expressions in one tight frame, avoiding the quivery distractions of wins and tail […] Smaug’s eyes, del Toro added, were “going to be sculpturally very hidden.” This would create a sense of drama when the thieving Bilbo stirs the beast from slumber.”

There’s a lot more about Smaug’s description and concept in the full article, and all of it sounds awesome (The article is a must-read). Obviously the dragon might not feature at all in the upcoming movie, as An Unexpected Journey is only the first half of the story, but it’s a safe bet that del Toro would pour that same dedication and creativity into all of Middle Earth’s inhabitants, and I desperately hope that Peter Jackson is incorporating as much of his designs as possible into the final film.

I’m really excited for The Hobbit films, if you can’t tell. The trilogy is arguably the largest cinematic event of our generation, but even on top of that, I always felt the Hobbit was the best of the novels. The potential for these final Tolkien adaptations is paralleled only by our expectations of them – it’s a lot to overcome, but Jackson has proved before he doesn’t shy away from huge undertakings. 2012 can’t come fast enough.

Review: HBO’s ‘True Blood’ Season 4, Episode 11 – “Soul of Fire”

I wasn’t even sure if this review was going to happen at all this week.  I spent the holiday with my parents, who still watch things on VHS, and do not subscribe to HBO.  I don’t know if the rest of you had problems with HBO Go not letting you log in to the site, but after 45 minutes of trying usernames and passwords not only for myself, but a good chunk of other writers for the site, I gave up.  I will have all of you know that the s’mores I made instead were delicious.

A day late, but I’m still here, providing you my sarcastic diatribe and serving up another helping of True Blood commentary.

Let the spoilers begin…..

I felt like this episode was mostly filler.  At the end of last week’s episode, I was pumped!  Vampires dressed all in black, carrying badass weapons, walking in slow-mo to a guitar riff – I was expecting action, explosions, and swear words.  And though all of these things found their way into this week’s episode, I still felt oddly unsatisfied.  More screen time was spent chanting in a wind machine and trying to fight an invisible force field – I felt like I was watching a high school media project.

The plot line was predictable.  Shit’s about to go down, and there’s F–KIN’ SOOKIE, right there in the middle of everything.  Again.  This girl is such a glutton for thrills.  She gets off on being in the wrong place at the wrong time.  And still, Bill and Eric are willing to die for her, over and over again.  With a damsel in this much distress, these two must start to feel less like knights in shining armor and more like fanged babysitters.

 It also turns out that Marnie is the crazy one, not Antonia.  After Marnie stabs a girl in the heart with a dagger, she casts a binding spell so Antonia can’t leave her, as she desperately wants to do.  The spell she casts is broken by Jesus, voiced by Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget, cutting himself in the bathroom.

Then the vamps are free to break in and shoot her down; which is a real shame, because they had just gotten the hang of the Thriller dance outside.

 Predictably, Lafayette’s medium abilities come full circle, and he is possessed by Marnie.  Nothing like a crazy witch before bed, it really does the trick.  Like warm milk.  I get that this was an attempt at a twist ending, but did anyone else see this coming about ten minutes into the episode?  The writers have been trying to hint to this for ages and ages, without realizing that their hints are elephant-sized.

While this whole witch business has been a giant WTF, there are a few other notables going on in Bon Temps.

The fairies are back, and apparently so desperate to reproduce that they’ll do it with a sweaty, dirty Andy having drug withdrawals and talking to himself like Gollum.  I was really hoping they were gone for good, Shoot!

Alcide and Debbie are ancient history.  She was pretty close to running away with Marcus, which I totally get.  Why take decent, caring, muscular Alcide, when you can have gangly hate-sex with a man who apparently doesn’t own a shower?  Somehow, she finds the willpower to say no to his advances, and after Alcide kills Marcus, he gives Debbie the boot.  I was assuming their relationship would die of boredom sooner or later, anyway.

 Also, I’m anxiously awaiting the massive breakdown that Hoyt will have when he finds out that his best friend is kanoodling his ex.  It will be classic; funnier than the ‘Monster Box’.

And, as usual, I really don’t care what Sam’s doing at all.

 I give this episode 2/5 Bears because nothing happened.  Nothing.

 [Editor’s Note – While it may not have been as appealing to the female audience, I have to say my favorite stuff this week was actually the Sam/Alcide storyline. Sam proves himself a man, Alcide proved himself deadly, and Debbie, well, she at least looked good in her underwear. But seriously, this was the first real touch of masculinity the show has exhibited in a while. Kudos.]

The Dark Tower – Universal Not Moving Forward?

Say it ain’t so! Like any ambitious and large undertaking in film, The Dark Tower may be getting put on hold because Universal is getting a little gun-shy. (Get it? The Gunslinger? Gun shy?) Javier Bardem is set to star in the trilogy of the popular series as Roland Deschain, the Gunslinger.

Continue reading The Dark Tower – Universal Not Moving Forward?