Category Archives: Movie News & Opinions

Movie News & Opinions

‘X-Men: First Class’ Sequel – Subtitle Alludes to Classic Storyline

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I have a confession to make. Despite being a comics fan, spending nearly 50$ a week on comics, collecting comics memorabilia, spending large amounts of time in a comic shop to the point where the employees and the people who are regulars there are now close friends who I see outside of the store, and just generally being admittedly a comic book nerd, I, am not that big a fan of the X-Men.

In fact, I’ve only cursory knowledge of them at best, no better really than the average, yet slightly more dedicated than usual, “Movies Only” X-Men fan. I know which characters are what, but some of the more obscure ones are lost on me, (X3 was a guessing game for a lot of characters I was clueless about), and I generally understand what their comic characterization is, but on the whole, I couldn’t recite to you a cavalcade of GREAT X-Men stories like I could for Superman or Green Lantern. In fact, when I first read this news, I had no clue of the significance of the source material until reading about it, and it’s inspiration to the tons of media that would follow it. So hearing about the X-Men: First Class sequel, was exciting, and also a bit perplexing, because while I loved First Class, I had no idea what the sequel’s “story” was based on.

Let’s get down to the details, according to [EW], the sequel will be based on ‘Days Of Future Past’, which was a story arc I’ve never heard of, or read:

For the newcomers in the audience: Days of Future Past was a time-travel story released in the early ’80s. In a bleak dystopian future, the mutants of the world are hunted down and sent to internment camps. Most of the X-Men are dead; the ones that are still alive are on the run. In the original story, the future version of Kitty Pryde time-travels back in time into her young self’s brain and works with the present-day X-Men to prevent the atrocity that kickstarts the whole miserable future. If this sounds familiar, it’s because Days of Future Past has been frequently imitated in pop culture. (Remember “Save the Cheerleader, Save the World”?)

Now I gotta say, that sounds pretty awesome. I know I’ll be losing some nerd cred by admitting I haven’t read it, but I’m a firm believer in manning up and admitting what you don’t know, rather than bullshitting people about what you do. To that end, First Class was by far the best of the previous X-Men movies, and was a welcome change from the dull talk tests that were the Bryan Singer X-Men movies. X3 was like weird retarded offshoot, that managed to entertain me more by simply being really dumb, but whenever I think about X-Men 1 or 2, my eyes start to glaze over. I think that’s always been why I could never get into X-Men period, because you have all these amazing characters with mind blowing powers (sometimes literally), and all they ever do is talk each other to death. [Ed. Note – X2 is still one of the 10 Best Comic Movies ever] I’m probably showing my ignorance here of all the tons of badass X-Men stories out there, with huge epic battles, but in my experience, picking up any form of X-Men media, be it a comic, movie, or even that animated Fox cartoon from years back, was an exercise in Mutant-related diplomatic relations, carried out slowly to avoid some really big, really important, impending threat thats juuuust on the horizon, but oh no will-they-talk-it-out-first- it’ssoimportantohmygodohmygodwilltheyfight??!??!  BUT no, they never do.

Anyhow, my bitching aside, the movie sounds really good. I’m excited for it. I just tend to complain about things no matter what. You can watch an interview with Bryan Singer about the movie below:

Movie Trailers

New ‘Paranormal Activity 4’ Trailer! Now With More Ret-cons!

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The Paranormal Activity movies are an interesting phenomenon (is that an accidental pun?) in the world of cinema. What started out as an effective, cheaply made, indie flick has now bloomed full on into a Hollywood juggernaut, and looks on track to becoming the next Saw-like yearly horror franchise. The similarities between the two continue as their sequels even out in numbers too, because while Saw became increasingly more convoluted and weird with each movie, so are the PA films. I remember seeing Saw 3 in theaters and thinking – “Well, how the hell are they gonna make a sequel now? Jigsaw is dead!” Oh shit. Spoilers? Bah, that movie is years old anyway, and it’s pretty shitty, so really I’m doing you a favor. Back on topic, I remember thinking how they could possibly stretch that franchise out post-Jigsaw, and sure enough, they found a way. Some could argue it was clever, but I’d simply say those people have clearly never heard of the concept of the “ret-con”, which any comics fan will be very familiar with.

The same is already applying with Paranormal Activity, but it’s somehow become even more full of plot holes and contrivances, with 4 fewer movies than the Saw franchise. I enjoyed the first movie immensely, and thought the second was a creative continuation/prequel. The third seemed to be getting a bit old, despite some creative gimmickry, mostly because of contradictions passed off as “mysteries to be solved” for later sequels, as well as the many cool looking promotional material and trailers. Even if they had nothing to do with what the movie was actually about, nor did they even have that footage in the film. Add in all the anachronistic mistakes prevalent in the film, and it really started to scream “I WAS PHONED IN” at the audience. [Editor’s Note – The last 10 minutes of PA3 scared the shit out of me. That is all.]

So what am I getting at? Basically I’m hoping that this new PA movie will retcon the bad things from PA3 that made no sense, and re-establish itself as a really well made, well acted, realistic exploration of the paranormal, without making any more excessive trips into stupid-town to give us all a SHOCKING TWIST ENDING of Shyamalanian contrivance.

http://youtu.be/X5XOG1lXjM4

If I was directing these movies, I’d pull a Halloween 3: Season Of The Witch, and make them self-contained episodic films, each taking place in a new house, new family, and lay down a framework of back story about the actual demon, rather than follow one dumb family that inexplicably has a long history of recording every waking moment of their lives. Unfortunately, for that to work and be accepted, they’d have to have started that with PA2.

So now we’ll take our ghostly medicine in the form of endless sequels until PA8 where it ends with Katie or Crissie or whoever is battling the ghost/demon on top of a magical spirit tower, while a coven of witches surrounds them chanting and holding newborns. Then GOD himself will appear and smite all of them, and we’ll all pass out in our seats from the retardation of the whole thing.

On a high note – Kate Featherston returns for the 4th time as ‘Katie’.

Movie Trailers

Skyfall Explosion – New James Bond Trailer and Info

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James Bond is back with a bang if the new trailers are anything to go by. There’s tons of new stuff about Daniel Craig’s return as Bond as well as his unexpected arrival at a certain event going on in London right now.

Continue reading Skyfall Explosion – New James Bond Trailer and Info →

Movie News & Opinions

Alex Cross: The Movie

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I would like to begin by saying that I have read, and own, every single James Patterson novel pertaining to the ‘Alex Cross’ series. I am particularly a fan of the novel titled after the main character Alex Cross, called Cross, which is the 12th installment of the series. So, when I heard that there was going to be a movie based on this specific novel, I was elated! However, my glowing grin dimmed as I read online that the title character, once portrayed by Morgan Freeman, was going to be played by a man whose main contribution to the film industry is dressing up like an overweight black woman… Madea herself, Tyler Perry.

I have mixed feelings about this adaptation. I am scared that one of my favorite tales of crime and suspense will be destroyed and bastardized. I am also very excited at the prospect of getting to see one of my favorite books come to life. I have had similar fears before with other book-to-movie adaptations, and the books are 100% of the time better than the movie. If it takes more than 4 hours to read, the movie cannot do the book justice in an hour and a half. However, since these are two completely different forms of entertainment, I try my best to stay objective. I was not a fan of the movie Kiss the Girls based on the Alex Cross series novel by James Patterson. They had to leave so much out of the movie that it was not something I would ever elect to watch again. Instead, I just pick the book back up. I hope that this movie can keep up… that novel was pretty amazing.

Here is the movie description from the James Patterson Website:

Crusading Detective/Psychologist Alex Cross (Tyler Perry) meets his match when he goes against the psychotic, mob hit man, Michael “The Butcher” Sullivan (Matthew Fox). As Cross investigates the hit man’s gruesome murders, Sullivan decides to send him a deadly message by murdering his wife in cold blood. Now enraged, Cross vows to hunt down the killer if it’s the last thing he does. However, Sullivan is a mastermind and continues to evade Cross while pushing him to an ethical breaking point as a cop and a father. As Cross closes in on the killer, he discovers evidence that points to the unimaginable—a revelation that could change everything. With unstoppable action, and unforeseeable twists, this suspenseful action thriller will keep you on the edge of your seat.

I will be back here on October 19th to let you know exactly how the movie was. In case the movie does exactly what I think it will do, please prepare yourself for some pretty grizzly curse words. However, if this film surprises me, I will be the first to rave about it!

Check out the trailer:

Movie News & Opinions

‘The Hobbit’ Confirmed As Trilogy. Also, Every Story Now Legally Required To Be Adapted Into Three Films.

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A couple of years ago, some of you may remember that in a startlingly logical move, a studio decided to adapt and release The Lord Of The Rings as a trilogy of films, each as its own movie telling the story originally told in three parts in the novel. After those movies went on to make millions and millions of dollars at the box office, studios were looking to fast track the obvious follow-up to LOTR, which was Tolkien’s The Hobbit. The main difference between the two, being that The Hobbit was a significantly shorter, simpler, and far less densely written story, that was originally written as a children’s book.   And then it got shelved, re-planned, re-thought out, and finally years later picked back up again by Peter Jackson, who now, along with the money-grubbing studios that want another million dollar trilogy, is adapting The Hobbit into a movie of its own. Three of them, to be exact, as stated on Peter Jackson’s Facebook. Via [Chicago Tribune]

“We know how much of the story of Bilbo Baggins, the Wizard Gandalf, the Dwarves of Erebor, the rise of the Necromancer, and the Battle of Dol Guldur will remain untold if we do not take this chance,” Jackson wrote.

“So, without further ado and on behalf of New Line Cinema, Warner Bros. Pictures, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, Wingnut Films, and the entire cast and crew of ‘The Hobbit’ films, I’d like to announce that two films will become three.”

Now while I’m not directly against an adaptation of The Hobbit itself, because it’s an amazing story, It is decidedly NOT enough story to adapt into 2 movies, and streeeettching it into 3 is downright frivolous.  It’s a pretty straightforward story. Hobbit joins up with dwarves for adventure. They fight trolls and spiders. They try to steal a dragons treasure. Dragon gets mad. They war against the dragon. War ends. The END. It’s enough story to make  a really badass 3 hour movie, with each act reflecting each part of the book. But since making money is paramount over making concise, unbloated, well paced adaptations, we’re going to get 2 unnecessary sequels so as much money as possible can be dragged out of our wallets as we’re forced to pay $16 dollars three times over the course of three years (at least!) , to see it in special LieMax 48fps 3D Digitial Surround sound with bonus cups and collectible glasses! Don’t forget the final showing of the third movie in 2014! Where you can buy a $50 dollar ticket to see all three in one sitting for 12 straight hours, and afterward you can go home and hang yourself because you’ve finally seen Peter Jackson’s ONE TRUE VISION brought to the silver screen.

So yeah. Not a fan of this being split up I guess, is what I’m saying.

Movie News & Opinions

New Images for ‘Machete Kills’: Lady Gaga & Alexa Vega

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Robert Rodriguez is currently in the middle of making Machete Kills, the sequel to Machete – starring Danny Trejo as the machete wielding Machete (…aaah! Too many machetes!).

It will also see the acting debut of Lady Gaga. Both she and Rodriguez are excited by this, if their tweets are anything to go by (as reported by The Hollywood Reporter). So here is her character poster, as ‘La Chameleon’ (image via I Watch Stuff).

It’s subtle and understated for her. Only the one dead animal wrapped around her.

Machete Kills is the second in a planned trilogy – and, technically, a spin-off from the Spy Kids films. It picks up from the first film with the title character mourning his lost love – so says the films website – then he is recruited by the US president to take down a cartel leader before he fires a missile at America.

It will star – along side Trejo – Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Zoe Saldana, Vanessa Hudgens, Sofia Vergara, Mel Gibson (as the cartel leader), Charlie Sheen (as the US president) and Alexa Vega as Killjoy.

Vega was, of course, in the Spy Kids movies (the first of which was 11 years ago). And now here she is – all grown up – in costume for this new movie.  The picture was posted to Instagram and Twitter, and is now all over the internet (image via Starburst).

I’ve posted this at the end because, quite frankly, I knew nothing else I wrote would be read otherwise. You’re not even reading this are you? And who can blame you. Look boobs.