Machete is back and according to the title, this time he kills (which is pretty much what he did in the first movie, but who am I to judge the film’s title). The first Machete film was a fun enough little romp through mexiploitation, with Machete getting framed for murder. Danny Trejo was however not the star in this film and he played the strong, semi silent type while the rest of the cast chewed up the scenery around him. Maybe now with Machete Kills it’s time for Danny to be let loose on the screen with wall to wall machete action. Here is the plot layout and again it seems a great and can we go so far as to say very cheesy OTT story that only Machete can sort out.
Robert Rodriguez is currently in the middle of making Machete Kills, the sequel to Machete – starring Danny Trejo as the machete wielding Machete (…aaah! Too many machetes!).
It will also see the acting debut of Lady Gaga. Both she and Rodriguez are excited by this, if their tweets are anything to go by (as reported by The Hollywood Reporter). So here is her character poster, as ‘La Chameleon’ (image via I Watch Stuff).
It’s subtle and understated for her. Only the one dead animal wrapped around her.
Machete Kills is the second in a planned trilogy – and, technically, a spin-off from the Spy Kids films. It picks up from the first film with the title character mourning his lost love – so says the films website – then he is recruited by the US president to take down a cartel leader before he fires a missile at America.
It will star – along side Trejo – Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Zoe Saldana, Vanessa Hudgens, Sofia Vergara, Mel Gibson (as the cartel leader), Charlie Sheen (as the US president) and Alexa Vega as Killjoy.
Vega was, of course, in the Spy Kids movies (the first of which was 11 years ago). And now here she is – all grown up – in costume for this new movie. The picture was posted to Instagram and Twitter, and is now all over the internet (image via Starburst).
I’ve posted this at the end because, quite frankly, I knew nothing else I wrote would be read otherwise. You’re not even reading this are you? And who can blame you. Look boobs.
Films like The Expendables follow a formula that teams up classic action heroes with newer action heroes, pitting them against the evilest of all evils and seeing what goes down. But why can’t we just leave the old people to their own devices and watch the dust fly out of their throats? I’ve been waiting to see a film like that and my prayers have been answered with Sushi Girl. Starring Tony Todd, Jeff Fahey, Danny Trejo, James Duval, Mark Hamill, Michael Biehn, and Sonny Chiba, this is a fanboy’s wet dream.
According to the IMDb synopsis, which was written by the film’s writer and director, the film goes a little something like this:
“Fish has spent six years in jail. Six years alone. Six years keeping his mouth shut about the robbery, about the other men involved. The night he is released, the four men he protected with silence celebrate his freedom with a congratulatory dinner. The meal is a lavish array of sushi, served off the naked body of a beautiful young woman. The sushi girl seems catatonic, trained to ignore everything in the room, even if things become dangerous. Sure enough, the four unwieldy thieves can’t help but open old wounds in an attempt to find their missing loot.”
I was honestly a little skeptical with this premise because I was expecting another straight-to-DVD style film that really had no redeeming qualities. But I learned that the film made its world premiere at San Diego Comic-Con, so I wasn’t as skeptical. Then, I saw the trailer. Needless to say, my pants exploded.
With almost too much badassery stuffed into its 2 minute and 10 second running time, Sushi Girl promises nothing but bloody, old-school, old man fun. The character of Sushi Girl is played by Cortney Palm, an actress I’m not too familiar with. Her character isn’t referenced or even shown that much, but considering the movie is called Sushi Girl, I’m sure she’ll play an important role in the actual picture.
If you think you’re ready for it, you can watch the full-length trailer right here:
In 2010, critics and audiences alike ooh’d and aah’d at Machete, a character Danny Trejo had been playing since 2001’s Spy Kids. Finally garnering his own movie, Machete was a definite success for writer/director Robert Rodriguez, who shot the film in the neo-grindhouse format that was made popular (again) by 2007’s Grindhouse, a collaborative double feature by Robert Rodriguez, who did the first film, Planet Terror, and Quentin Tarantino, who did the second film, Death Proof.
In between the movies were fake, or supposedly fake, previews of upcoming films, one of the films being Machete. Others included Hobo with a Shotgun, which has since been made into a film, as well as Don’t, Thanksgiving, and Werewolf Women of the SS. Reports of production for Thanksgiving, which is being directed by Hostel creator Eli Roth, were recently confirmed and is set to release sometime in either 2012 or 2013. The first spawn of the original Grindhouse, though, was Machete, and the sleeper hit of Spring 2010 is getting a sequel entitled Machete Kills.
Rodriguez is working with producer Alexander Rodnyansky from AR films, and the sequel is the first in a planned trilogy, with the hopes that Trejo will reprise his role for the upcoming two films. Rodriguez says, “The fan response to the Machete character has been fanatical since his first appearance…Machete is truly a super hero and Machete Kills will be bigger and more ambitious than the first time.” He also has hopes that the surviving characters of the first film will make the decision to return again for the next two sequels.
Kyle Ward has written the first draft of the script, which is set to be developed by Robert and Marcel Rodriguez. The film is a Quick Draw Production with production by Aaron Kaufman and Iliana Nikolic, and Sergei Bespalov and Rick Schwartz. Production is slated to begin in April of this year.
Not much is known about the plot thus far, but Deadline.com released a report stating: “The new film finds Machete recruited by the U.S. Government for a mission which would be impossible for any mortal man. Machete must battle his way through Mexico to take down a madman cartel leader and an eccentric billionaire arms dealer who has hatched a plan to spread war across the planet with a weapon in space. Machete takes on an army in an effort to dismantle a plan for global anarchy.”
If Machete Kills is anything like the original, count me in.
Everyone loves racist jokes. Everyone loves pot jokes. Everyone loves racist pot jokes (it’s true don’t deny it). These three facts may be an explanation behind the strangely successful Harold & Kumar franchise, which is now on its third film. The other strange thing about the franchise is that it’s one of the only, if not the only successful franchise led without a Caucasian character in a lead role. I’m sure there are others that I’m forgetting, but that’s really not important.
In A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas, six years have passed since the previous sequel, Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantonomo Bay. On an unrelated note, considering that both Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle and Escape From Guantanomo Bay take place during the same week, and the first Harold & Kumar came out in 2004, the whole 6 years passing thing is extremely close to being accurate as far as the time-lapse. Not very important, but I felt like sharing, now back to the review.
Harold (John Cho) has since married his dream girl Maria (Paula Garcés – Below), who now wants to have a child. Kumar (Kal Penn), who was dumped by his girlfriend Vanessa (Danneel Ackles), now lives alone spending his days getting high and talking to his annoying neighbor, Adrian (Amir Blumenfeld, in what should be his breakout role).
Christmas Eve rolls around, and this is where the fun begins. Harold’s very scary and very Mexican in-laws are in town for the weekend, led by their patriarch, Mr. Perez (Danny Trejo), bringing with him an extremely important and cherished tree that he’s been growing for eight years for this specific Christmas. Harold just wants to show to him that he’s a responsible husband and won’t ruin Christmas.
On Kumar’s side of things, with nothing to do, he decides to go out with Adrian, but hours before doing so, Vanessa drops by to give Kumar a little news; she’s pregnant. On top of all that (yes, there’s more), a package arrives for Harold who hasn’t lived in that apartment for almost five years. With all this on his mind, Kumar and Adrian head to Harold’s house to drop off the package and get out of their as soon as they can, but of course, we know the formula by know, that’s not going to happen.
Basically, to shorten the sequence, Kumar leaves the package on the front stoop and tries to get out clean, he ends up slipping on ice, Harold hears it, comes out, greets him, and invites him in for coffee. Kumar reluctantly agrees only to see that Harold’s new house is, and I quote, “not s**ty.” Harold and Kumar, after their awkward introductions, finally get around to opening the mysterious package, only to find a ridiculously large joint with the words “I killed Bob Marley” written on the side of it (I’m only kidding about that last part). Kumar immediately begins smoking the joint, and Harold forces him to throw it out. The joint, accompanied by some slick movie magic, is thrown out of the window, to only boomerang back into another open window, placing itself neatly on the cherished tree, thus lighting it on fire. Here’s where the adventure begins.
I won’t explain all the things that happen next, but I can say one thing; it’s funny as hell. The Harold & Kumar films, as mindless and raunchy as they may seem, are for the most part expertly plotted, smartly written, and extremely funny films, this being no exception.
The only thing that I thought was more or less distracting was the overall change in style. I can’t quite put my finger on everything that was different, but it’s like watching a sequel or a remake to your favorite movie. It’s probably good, but it just isn’t the same. Another distracting element was the almost constant use of slow-motion and 3D. Unfortunately, I was forced to see the film in 2D, as well as sober, so I probably only got about 1/10th of the effects that every stoner with a pair of 3D glasses did.
But for all the stylistic changes, the addition of new and hilarious characters, including Thomas Lennon as Todd, a naïve father who inadvertently involves him and his even funnier baby girl Ava in Harold and Kumar’s misadventures, as well as the return of all the old characters, notably NPH (whose cameo may be his best yet) and Rosenberg and Goldstein (whose cameo scene will have fans of the original in stitches), make this 3rd outing better than it has any right to be. Additionally, the use of meta-filmmaking makes for some even better laughs than almost any joke in the film. The real genius of this 3rd Harold & Kumar film, is that, it will most likely please fans of the original, but it also makes room for millions of new fans who have not yet been introduced to the antics of this lovable stoner duo.
Filling in for Dr. Kronner this week: NTroy5000
So, episode 2 continued in the slow plodding manner that the first episode set the precedent for. I’m glad that the story for the show continues to be engaging, if it wasn’t I don’t think it would be able to hold my attention.
Here is a movie that totally snuck under the radar when the poster came out, because well…it looks like some shitty Rom-Com. I mean, better than the average Rom-Com based just on the presence of Jason Segal and Chris Cooper’s name, but still a chick flick. The movie title reads ‘Green With Envy’ and makes no mention what-so-ever of out beloved Muppets…
So, keeping true to form, once you watch the trailer, you realize that Jason Segal doesn’t really do a lot of shitty movies. The hard part is not turning the trailer off before the 0:51 mark…
So a new Muppet movie, and Jason Segal actually wrote it. That’s good news, and keeping with tradition, this one will also be filled to the brim with celebrity cameos that include Zach Galifianakis, Jack Black, Donald Glover, and Danny Trejo just to name a few.
For those few who are unfamiliar with the Muppets, what’s wrong with you? Fix this immediately. >>> CLICK HERE
For everyone else, you may remember when Disney acquired the rights to the characters back in 2004, but since had done very little with them, save a couple TV specials and some YouTube videos…
It’s nice to see them coming back to the big screen, and come November, I’ll be at the theater to see the newest addition to the Muppet Movie catalogue.
Call of Duty – Three words almost universally despised by wives and girlfriends everywhere. Well ladies, things are about to get worse. If it seems your man has been picking the controller up less frequently as of late, I hope you enjoy it while it lasts. Coming May 3rd is the newest expansion for the latest Call of Duty game, Black Ops. This is the second such expansion released for the game, as First Strike is almost 3 months old already. I know a few people I play online with still haven’t bought the First Strike expansion, but personally I’m happy I did, as ‘Discovery’ has become my favorite map in the game. The new add-on is called Escalation.
Here is a quick synopsis:
As indicated by the retailer leak, the DLC will include four multiplayer maps: Hotel, set “on the roof of a Cuban luxury hotel and casino against the vivid backdrop of old Havana”; Convoy, which offers up “intense, close-quarters combat at the scene of an ambushed US military convoy”; Zoo, set in a derelict Soviet-era animal park; and Stockpile, which is set in a small Russian town that contains secret facilities housing weapons of mass destruction.
Also included in the Escalation pack is a new level for Black Ops’ zombie mode. Today’s announcement gave no details on the mode, other than that it will provide a “unique Zombies experience.” However, the previous retailer leak referred to the level as “Call of the Dead.”
Ok, so new maps are always nice, but what’s really grabbing me here is the “Call of the Dead” aspect of the game. Long has the Zombie section of the game been a favorite of mine, and it is in fact the reason I bought both Call of Duty: World at War and Call of Duty: Black Ops. And while it was fun, it was obviously never a real focus for the designers. That’s about to change. Here is the trailer for the ‘Call of the Dead’ section of the expansion…
As our esteemed Technical Editor likes to say: Holy crap.
Not bad at all. Here are 4 luminaries in the Horror/Sci-Fi genre, brought together to voice characters not for a full game, but just a downloadable expansion to the game. That is throwing your budget around. Just look at this cast:
– Michael Rooker made his name with a lot of geeks in Mallrats, however was already established in the horror community for a decade prior with the title role in Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer. And for the Zombie connection – he was in the first season of AMC’s The Walking Dead.
– Danny Trejo is one Mexican you don’t want to f–k with, or so he told us in Machete. Machete was of course a spin-off of Grindhouse, and Trejo has been in such classics as Maniac Cop 2, the From Dusk Till Dawn trilogy, and Rob Zombie remake of Halloween.
– Sarah Michelle Gellar is of course best known as Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but has also appeared in horror movies like I Know What You Did Last Summer, The Grudge and Scream 2.
– Robert Englund has played Freddy Kruger over 50 times between the Nightmare on Elm Street movies and the TV show they inspired. Plus he has been in other movies like Wishmaster, Urban Legend, 2001 Maniacs, and Zombie Strippers! He is a horror icon.
And all of them helmed by the man most synonymous with Zombies – George A. Romero. If you somehow don’t know who Romero is…well, you’re just not a zombie fan. He is responsible for Night of the Living Dead and all of it’s seemingly thousands of sequels.