Can you imagine how excited I am for Community? No, that’s not sarcasm. Moving to Fridays and airing right after Whitney, the greatest comedy of all time? And it’s on NBC, which always deliver great shows with great ratings? And the cherry on top of the sundae, Dan Harmon, the executive producer to Community, was replaced going into what probably won’t be the final season of the show, since he is totally not responsible for the show’s quality? I mean, the show averages 3.93 million viewers. That’s a lot to a premium cable channel. There’s no way the fourth season is the show’s final season. Oh wait, NBC’s network TV? Who cares? NBC is awesome. It’s like a unicorn galloping on rainbows and shitting Nutella. They did so well in their coverage of the Olympic games, they’re expecting to make tons of profits. Wow, I am genuinely looking forward to the show returning in fall.
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Vampires on the Peacock: NBC Greenlights “Dracula’
As you know, I normally write about video games. Movies and TV shows are not my thing, but whenever I get a chance to take a shot at NBC, I have to. The peacock is so damn stupid, I almost feel bad about laughing at the network. It’s like laughing at someone who’s mentally challenged. It’s not their fault they do not have a normal IQ level. But then, NBC is run by people who are getting paid six figures, so f— them. Anyways, the NBC execs have cancelled a number of shows only to replace them with something worse. It’s OK if people actually watch NBC, but NO!!!! Even fewer people tune in to their new shows.
Remember Southland? They cancelled the show after they have finished shooting six episodes of season 2. We’re talking about flat-out withdrawing all of the episodes from schedule before the season premiere even aired. They replaced it with more Chris Hansen. (Thank God TNT picked up the show. The police procedural will air its fifth season in February, 2013.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4dKvcrie70
Don’t even get me started on The Jay Leno Show. You know you done messed up when you have an entire Wikipedia article dedicated to the controversy. Last year, their marketing campaign focused on Whitney, which many consider to be the worst “comedy” on TV right now. Obviously, there was little to no mention of Community or Parks and Recreation. NBC also started Grimm out on Fridays. Sounds like a great idea to be placing a show with potential broad appeal in the TV graveyard.
Someone has to be sucking someone’s dick to keep this show on air.
I don’t know who. For all I know, it can be the catering guy.
Oh, and they fired Dan Harmon right after Community’s third season. Yea, as if the show will last more than four seasons, especially after the peacock decided to air the show on Fridays this coming fall.
If they can’t net you 10 million viewers, nothing can.
Even more recently (we’re talking about a few hours ago recent), NBC decided against airing the Olympic opening and closing ceremony live. Really? I know you gotta make that paper but this is just a new low, even by peacock standards. Can’t you just display banner ads at the bottom of the screen?
Anyways, imagine how I feel when they decided to give Dracula a green light. No, I’m not excited or ecstatic, or anything along those lines. I am merely surprised, since this move is so damn logical (albeit safe). I mean, you have 9 million Twihards out there, and vampire is the hit thing right now. NBC maybe a little too late, but they can still make some money off the show.
Personally, I would have gone for Blacula. Just saying…
Johnathan Rhys Meyers (from The Tudors, which is pretty awesome) was casted as the titular role, Dracula. The protagonist will pose as an American entrepreneur trying to introduce technology to the late 19th century Britain. His real intent, however, is to take revenge on some people who stepped on his toes a few centuries ago. Obviously, there will be a girl whom he falls in love with, and the girl in question will bear striking resemblances to his long-lost love.
Say what you will but he’s one beautiful dude. Damn, it should be illegal to be that good-looking.
The fall pilot season is absolutely looking disastrous. Don’t believe me? Try taking this quiz. Find out which of the posters belong to actual NBC comedies airing in fall, and which were photoshopped. It’s not just the comedies either. The rest of the peacock’s schedule is just horrendous. See for yourself.
Dracula will not begin production until later this year. Expect the show to come out in 2013. Not like it matters. NBC’s 12-13 season is done. Keep going hard as the 4th among network TV. Yes, that was sugar-coating “last place”.
Well, at least we will have spent 12 episodes worth of time watching this piece of eye candy by the end of 2013. I’m straight, in case you’re wondering.
By the way, please watch Parks and Recreation and Southland. Both of them are fantastic shows. As for Community, let’s just say it won’t be the same show without Dan Harmon.
CCI 2012: Video Game News Roundup
Hey there, people. It’s me again. Comic-Con has been rather quiet when it comes to video games. Just like day 1, nothing much happened in that area of nerdism so I decided to combine day 2, 3 and 4 into one article.
A Mass Effect anime will invade our television sets soon
Mass Effect: Paragon Lost is an anime series which is set right before the event of Mass Effect 3. The plot centers on James Vega (voiced by the corny Freddie Prinze Jr.), telling the story of his team’s encounter with the Collectors aka the bad guys in Mass Effect 2. Here’s a brief description of the storyline taken from the official website:
Mass Effect: Paragon Lost is the prequel to the highly-anticipated Mass Effect 3 and follows the early career of Alliance Marine, James Vega. Vega leads an elite Special Forces squad into battle against a mysterious alien threat known as The Collectors. Stationed at a colony in a remote star system, Vega and his soldiers must protect the civilians from a ruthless invasion determined to capture the population for unknown purposes. Learn more about the Mass Effect universe with an unprecedented glimpse into the haunted past of Mass Effect’s newest hero!
If you ask me, I don’t really give a shit about the anime. Given how crappy the ending is, there is no reason for me to care. Plus, the animation looks pretty bad. We’re talking about “made using Flash by a bunch of middle-schoolers” level of disaster. Don’t get me wrong. Flash can look fantastic when done right, but Paragon Lost does not seem to be the case. But what do I know? Some people liked the ending. That includes our very own CheeseBadger, who is oh-so-sarcastic all the time. Maybe some of you will enjoy this. As for me, I’ll pass.
By the way, the anime is coming out in November this year.
Oh, there’s also this Mass Effect 3 DLC tease
Word on the street is that BioWare released a teaser. Some speculate it’s for an upcoming DLC. Apparently the story is set underwater and there will be Atlas’s (the Cerberus robot thingy). I’m not holding my breath for this one. Here’s an interesting question: was that pun intended?
(We’ll update this post as soon as we find the teaser on Youtube.)
The Last of Us introduces a new, bearded character
The trailer shows Joel, Ellie and the new character getting into a building after fending off the zombies, or whatever they’re called. I mean, technically speaking, they have some fungal infection in their brains or some crazy ass shit like that. That part isn’t so zombie-like, but since they’re acting as if they’re high on bath salts, we’ll just refer to them as zombies. They’re crazy, and I think they eat people. Let’s not pretend they’re anything other than zombies, aight?
Anyways, this mysterious figure, Bill, handcuffs Ellie and points the gun at Joel. The men get into an argument as Ellie breaks free to hit Bill with the steel pipe she was handcuffed to. Joel stops her after the first hit and the three talk things out. In short, Bill is the typical “trust nobody” type of guy who’s reluctant to help the protagonists in zombie movies. He’ll probably end up being eaten because he’s not a team player. Now all we need are some token (insert stereotypical minority ethnicity here) guy/gal, a dumb blonde, and a dickish beefcake to make the most predictable zombie video game ever. I am still intrigued by the story though.
More Resident Evil 6 details
Yoshiaki Hirabayashi, Resident Evil 6’s producer, has released more details on the game.
- Jill and Claire will not be in the game. Claire will be mentioned.
- You can switch camera to your character’s right or left.
- For those hardcore players, the hud display can be switched off.
- Weapons are scattered throughout levels. No purchases are necessary.
- You no longer have worry about your AI partner’s inventory. He/She will pick up various items based on his/her needs.
- Swapping items is possible when you’re playing online co-op.
- Weapons are not individually upgraded. Instead, you upgrade weapons, among many other skills, through the allocation of skill points.
- As of current, the game is not going to support Playstation Move.
Capcom has also revealed the voices behind the main characters:
- Leon S Kennedy – Matthew Mercer
- Helena Harper – Laura Bailey
- Chris Redfield – Roger Craig Smith
- Piers Nivans – Chris Emerson
- Jake Muller – Troy Baker
- Sherry Birkin – Eden Riegel
- Ada Wong / Carla Radames – Courtnay Taylor
I swear to god Laura Bailey and Troy Baker were in every single thing that came out in the last twelve months. Both of them played the Boss in Saints Row The Third (Caucasian female and male respectively), as well as different supporting roles Mass Effect 3 (Laura as the asari lieutenant at the beginning of Priority: Thessia, I think, and Troy as the notoriously comical Kai Leng), and many more. Just look at their IMDB profiles yourself. Here’s Laura’s and here’s Troy’s.
They’re both quite attractive. Just saying…
A Deadpool video game is coming out…
And surprisingly, he’s not voiced by Nolan North, or is he? Oh wait, he is. All that I care about is Deadpool himself actually showed up in Comic Con to announce the game himself, and that was awesome.
The game is being developed by High Moon Studios and will be published by Activision. Anyways, here’s the teaser:
[youtube
The gameplay itself doesn’t look particularly interesting. It’s seems like another third-person hack-&-slash / shooting. Perhaps the witty dialogue may just be the game changer. Who knows? It’s too early to tell.
I hope you’ve enjoyed our Comic Con coverage. Big shoutouts to all of you who read the articles. I know it sounds corny but you are the reason why we’re doing this. We don’t get paid. Please keep following us on Facebook or Twitter (or start now if you haven’t already done so) for more pop culture opinions.
CCI 2012: Video Games News Recap (Day 1)
If you are a huge video game fan like me, you might be disappointed with how little information regarding upcoming games was released today. Either case, there are some noteworthy ones. Let’s just get straight to the point.
Borderlands 2 Wimoweh trailer
2K Games released a trailer for Borderlands 2, showcasing its environments and enemies. The premise of the trailer itself is actually pretty smart. Foes are seemingly presented as predators on plains, and the protagonists as hunters. We also manage to catch a glimpse of character abilities. Not bad.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8cee-FvBV0
Two Screenshots from Grand Theft Auto: V
As the title suggests, we have two more pictures from the upcoming GTA. The game is shaping up great. What made GTA: IV memorable was its city – the city was as much of a character as Niko Bellic. Look at the guy dipping his feet in the waters in the second screenshot, and tell me Rockstar Games is not busting their asses trying to create another lively open-world experience.
Live Action Street Fighter TV Series in the Making
Now this is scary. No Street Fighter games convey storylines good enough to generate any form of motion picture entertainment. It was proven in the mess back in 1994, as well as the one in 2009. Anyways, the producer of the series will be someone who made this:
Titled Street Fighter: Assassin’s Fist, the story will follow Ken and Ryu through their early years when they were living in the wild and being secluded and all that stereotypical Asian warrior bullshit. There, they learn some fighting skills from Gouken. Unbeknownst to Ken and Ryu, they’re practicing Ansatsuken, which has a dark and tragic legacy. Yea, that’s pretty much it. The press release claims that the story will be “thrilling” and “multi-layered”.
Yea, whatever.
I just had to. Guile theme does go with everything.
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Need for Speed Movie Set For 2014
Video-game-to-movie adaptations started in the early 90’s, with Super Mario Bros. Until recently, those movies had an uncanny tendency to flop, hard. However, with Tomb Raider and Resident Evil movies garnering much success, film studios decided it’s a good idea to invest in adaptations again. Hell, Ubisoft set up an entire studio just to produce movies based on their own games.
And of course, they’re never popular with the critics, but as long as they make money, and are remotely entertaining, who really cares?
Unless they’re directed by this guy. I hope he isn’t up to anything lately. Wait, he is.
EA also thought this was a good idea, and decided to sell the movie rights to Need for Speed. DreamWorks execs, perhaps high on coke and feeling overconfident, bought the property. Now, they have announced a release date.
On February 7, 2014, we will get a chance to watch a movie about cars with zero storyline (which in itself is a major understatement). Trust me, I know my Need for Speed games. When you talk about NFS, you don’t talk about their storylines. There was no plot in the first place. If there was any, it mainly revolves around you being a racer, and your need to win money and earn recognition so you can race against an asshole (Underground, Underground 2, Most Wanted, Carbon, Pro Street), who probably screwed you over earlier in the game (Underground 2, Most Wanted, Carbon). There are also hot female sidekicks solely for the sake of making teenage boys horny. It’s guilty pleasure when the horrible storyline is in a racing game, not so much when it’s in a movie.
In case you didn’t know how bad the acting and writing were.
There were a couple of times where EA decided to go with different plots. In Undercover, you play as an undercover officer who is trying to infiltrate a gang, or something. It doesn’t really matter. You race, and then your boss (played by Maggie Q) orders you to take some people out. After a while, you find out that your boss is actually a mole, and you take her down. Wow, that took stupidity to a whole different level.
I never quite understood EA’s logic. Why bother shooting live-action scenes when nobody really cares about the storyline? All that waste of money should have went to my bank account. You know, someone who actually needs the money.
And The Run. How can I possibly forget about this atrocity? This game actually has a negative value of plots. I didn’t know that was even possible until this game was released. Basically, you play this guy Jack, who is in a lot of debt. Jack’s ex-girlfriend (portrayed by Christina Hendricks) tells him that there’s this cross-country race which can net him a whole lot of money. Jack races to pay off debt. Jack pays off debt by winning the race. Seriously, that is it. It’s not a joke. How EA managed to get Christina freaking Hendricks involved is just mind-baffling. I swear to god someone must be holding her husband, or her dog, hostage. No amount of money can convince anyone to be involved in the project. It’s that bad. Don’t believe me? I dare you to watch an entire playthrough of the game and tell me that there is a plot.
Yes, this Christina Hendricks. THE Christina Hendricks who is on Mad Men.
We don’t need any more street racing movies. We have The Fast & The Furious for that purpose. Please for the love of god, don’t do this. Don’t make me suffer through an hour and half of torture.
*gun cocks*
Not Dr Kronner: Jason, you will watch the movie, and you will write a review for us.
Jason: How the hell did you even…
Not Dr Kronner: Shhhhhhhh. If you don’t follow my orders word for word, you will be swimming with the fishes.
Jason: You maybe able to kill this body of flesh, but you can never kill my soul.
Not Dr Kronner: …
Jason: Ha!!! Now you have no leverage over me!!!
Not Dr Kronner: I shall kill this kitty instead.
Jason: What? You don’t kill no kitties. YOU’RE A MONSTER!!!!
Not Dr Kronner: You’re gonna do it now?
Jason: *in tears* Do what?
Not Dr Kronner: Watch the movie and write a review for us.
Jason: Yes. *sniffs* Just don’t kill the kitty.
When the movie is released, you may return to Grizzly Bomb for a full-length review, even though I have no idea how to write a movie review. I’m not the one with the gun. Dr Kronner did not, in any way, force me to do this. I am doing it voluntarily, for you guys and gals, so you won’t have to suffer through the movie.
Sorry, I just had to.
Grizzly Bomb 